Friends

Since moving to the country five or so years ago I have been lucky enough to meet several lovely locals who, over time, have become great friends. These women are all different and I love them all. To celebrate their diversity, to enjoy the many aspects of their personalities that shows me a different way, a different light, is a beautiful thing. I love that I can call any of them up and have a chat, or a whinge, a laugh or a debrief. I can ask their opinion, offer help or ask for theirs. These friendships give me so much and I hope I give back enough to these gorgeous people, who really light up my life.

I've been thinking about mates and life and what's important lately. I suppose we all have different expectations of friendship, we all bring our own baggage, just as in any relationship. I like to think that I don't seek, or need friends that reflect me, that validate who I am. I hope to not be too needy in my friendships but also able to share my own ups and downs. Of course it helps to have something in common, similar values perhaps & interests, but how good is it to share in anothers different culture, to be touched by someone elses opinion, ideas, thoughts? To be comfortable enough with yourself & your friendship that you can be challenged by a friend, or have a different opinion & that's ok. How good is it to expect the best of someone, not the worst?

All my friends bring something different and so valuable into my life. But not only that, it's also a true joy to share in peoples families, to get to know the children, the partners, the extended family of those friends I love.

It's not the number of friends you have that matters is it? You might only have one or two really good mates, but if they are true friends then that counts for a lot. Even one friend can be worth their weight in gold.

I know someone who seems to have trouble making & keeping friends. This is so sad as they miss out on so much. Friendships can be tricky & hard work. Sometimes friends fall out, have misunderstandings, say something in anger that is hurtful. When this happens it's difficult and some friendships change forever. Although it is hard to talk about how you feel sometimes, it's always better to get it out, to be honest, to not hide behind your hurt, your computer, your excuses. This is not easy and takes courage.

When I was growing up I had a friend who lived near my Nan. We played alot together and spent many hours in her pool, playing dressups, going to the beach. Then when we were teenagers I, and a new friend, were quite cruel to this old mate. Understandably she was very hurt and never spoke to me again. I've never got over my actions, or forgiven myself for making someone feel so bad. If I could find her and tell her how sorry I am it would mean so much. I would also understand though, if she didn't want my apology. It still makes me sad that I ended that long friendship by making a poor choice and being unkind. I guess it did teach me a lesson though, a painful one.

I'm not an expert of friendship but I do know how much we all need love & companionship in our lives. I also know that you need to work at friendships and nuture that connection. As I get older my good friends, who I care about and love, respect and treasure are such an important part of the fabric of my life, and who I am. I value them all so much. The good, honest, fun, supportive, sweet, imperfect, adventurous, loyal, hopeful, strong & lovely women that I am lucky enough to call my mates. Have you got some great friends in your life? I bet you do! I wonder if they know how much they mean to you?

See you soon dear bloggy friends xo