What does belonging mean to you? Do you like to be part of something, does it make you feel good? For me it's a really important part of my life..it helps to give my life meaning and it makes me happy.
Did I tel you I started a new job recently? I'm working in the prep room at the school our kids attend, and I'm loving it! It's so nice to have something new in my life, to be back at work, even though it is only a couple of mornings a week.
When I left my previous position, when I was pregnant with Lucy, I remember the first few days at home so well. Instead of feeling happy to be finished with work I was really struck by the sudden lack of contact with others.
No one emailed me anymore! My inbox was empty. No one to have lunch with, chat with, I felt really lonely at the time. In hindsight that sudden isolation probably contributed to what turned into post natal depression, it was a difficult time. I often wonder if having a blog during that time would have helped, I like the way new mums can now use the internet to stay in touch with the world, and other people.
Anyway, lately I've been having the reverse experience! I feel super duper connected. It's nice to be involved in the community of the classroom, of the school, as a worker, as well as a parent. I'm enjoying the satisfaction of helping the preppies with their learning, and just being with this gorgeous group of kids is so inspiring and fun. I've been at home a LONG time with my kids and have never regretted it.
It's always been a priority for me to be there for them in their young years and I've been lucky that I haven't had to work. But any mum knows that it's not always easy, and the space for myself has been pretty limited. So I'm happy, happy, happy to be working!
Not that I've been stuck at home on my own for the last 12 years. I've alway liked to do community based things and I really like to volunteer and be involved. So you can imagine how much I am also LOVING helping out at our new community op shop! So many great people have come together to make this op shop happen and although I've only done a few hours I"m looking forward to my regular Friday spot. I like that I'm helping those in need, socialising with different people, contributing, belonging.
Yesterday our family went to our local Anzac Day parade and ceremony. The kids held our school banner and marched with their friends down the main street, in support of the brave men and women who fought & died for our country.
It's so good for them to learn about our history, about people who lived before them and have an understanding of how war effects us all. It was a very moving ceremony and I was so glad we were there, to be involved, to be sharing this important event.
Our kids belong to a local football and netball club. It's a very family oriented club and a great way for the kids to learn skills, make friends, see some other parts of Victoria and to have the opportunity to be part of a team. Sometimes they win, sometimes they lose. I don't get to go often enough because I'm usually caught up with the ballet world on Saturdays, but that's ok. Mark is great at taking the older two and I hope we can do swapsies sometimes so we both get to have a turn. I like that my kids are learning the beauty of community, of being part of something bigger than themselves, that they belong.
Lately I've been aware that my interest in blogging is fading a little, I'm just not so motivated to read other blogs or to crap on about my own life too much. I've been thinking about it a lot. Should I just finish up? Should I make more of an effort? What the hell is going on with me..am I just plain lazy?? Why don't I seem to have the time to read about other people's lives anymore? Am I a really crap blogger???
Anyway, the only conclusion I have come to is that I'm too busy belonging in the real world. I love my bloggy friends, I really like my own little blog space so it's not that. I just really love all the things I"m involved with that aren't online and this doesn't leave much time for blogging.
So I'm not going to throw in the towel, I'll still be around here and there. I'm sorry I haven't visited you, it's not that I don't care. I think I've just found lately that my belonging spaces are elsewhere. (Hey that all rhymed...!)
I hope I'll still have some belonging space in blog land too. We'll see. In the mean time I'd love to hear about what belonging means to you. Are you involved in your community? Does it give you something that makes you feel good too? Do you ever feel a bit isolated or disconnected? Sometimes it's harder in the city but I know that everywhere there is a place for someone, for some kind of belonging. Because we are all important, we all matter and sometimes we need to look outside of ourselves, to find out just how much.
Hope to see you soon lovely ones...xo