Thursday, January 6, 2011

Free to be me

Over the last week we have been having some lovely family gatherings,

at home, and at my mum's house in Hepburn.

It's been SO good to see my brother & his wife and their gorgeous girls who I love so much. Both girls are growing up of course, and now that they are far from us I really treasure time spent with them.

I've been thinking too about the new year and all that it holds.

I read Kate's piece on choice as well as Jen's post about living fearlessly and I've been giving some thought (quite a lot!) to what my hopes are for myself in this new year.

I guess I'd like to live more freely, and by this I mean within myself. Sometimes I feel I hold myself back by thinking too much, by carrying around a lot of jumbled up thoughts & baggage that bogs me down.

I'd like to be kinder to myself this year, to care more about myself, to treat myself more gently, more lovingly.

I like to be a good & supportive friend to those I love, and I know I'm always there for my children & hopefully for Mark too.  Maybe I'm not so good at supporting myself, or valuing my strengths.

I hope I can leave some of my past in the past, that I can live more in the present. At the same time I hope I can not dwell too much on the future, on what 'might' happen, on what 'might' be. And if I do I hope it will be about the possibilities of joy, of happiness, togetherness, adventures & fun.

So I'm thinking 2011 will be a year about being free,

free to be me.

With my youngest child going to school this year my world is changing. This is a bit scary and a bit exciting.

Being a mum to my kids is the most important part of my life but there is so much more to me too. I think I will take some time this year to think about what else I might do, I'd love to start something new, to be in another world as well as at home.

Oh the possibilities! I guess that is what is so nice about a new year, anything can happen. I love the idea of freeing myself up emotionally. Of letting go of negative thoughts, of doubts & anxieties. This side of myself is only one side, but it can be a real drag and so exhausting at times.  I'm sure it won't be an easy thing, changing old patterns & habits is hard. But what a relief it will be to be! Have you been thinking about what changes you might make this year? I've really enjoyed reading other people's thoughts on this.

Today Mark & Lucy & Billy are off on a camping adventure! This leaves a smaller household here at home and we have some fun plans for our week. I hope to catch up with friends, go swimming, hang out in the garden, make things with the girls, go out for dinner, go to a movie and hopefully get some walking in too. What are you up to? I hope your new year has started well, see you soon xo


Gifts of Serendipity said...

This really is going to be a big year for you with your youngest going to school.

All that you have written today will no doubt stand you in good stead for all the changes, large and small that will wend their way into your world.

I wish you every happiness and lots of great health for this coming year and look forward to reading all about it,

Felicity x

Linda said...

Your family is beautiful! Hope you have a wonderful 2011!

Jennie said...

Love that first pic especially!
Relating to everything you've said there Beck. Letting go and moving forward... we have a big new start in a new country very soon. I'm hoping it'll be a time of letting go of the past and creating a new future.

We have the little one going to school this year too, will be a shock to the system for me. Can't quite get my head around that one yet!XX

aracne said...

Dear Beck,
I love this post. Of course you are carrying around a lot of 'thoughts and baggage', with 5 kids, a husband, a house and all the rest. I can relate to this, it was the same for me.
With the youngest going to school, you will have the time to take a little more time for yourself; I wish you to fulfil your dreams, and have a full, joyful and happy New Year.

Posie Patchwork said...

Oh a nice photo of all your children, i love it!! It's my mission to get one of my 4 together, ahhhhh. It's a whole new world when you come home every day with that last child in school, it's actually quiet & i miss them. My baby is going into year 2, i'm getting good at entertaining myself home alone. Love Posie

teddybearswednesday said...

Lovely Beck, your plans and hopes to be more free and kinder to yourself sound like a wonderful idea. I can't think of anyone who deserves the special love and kindness you give to others more than yourself.
You know I can totally relate to this myself, as well it's something I'm not so good at either.
I really hope 2011 is a stunner for you xo

Floss said...

Happy New Year to you and your lovely family, Beck! I love your post, and I'm going to follow your links to the other posts in a minute. Everything you wrote seemed so much in tune with the daily readings book Simple Abundance, which I found so helpful last year. I'd love to recommend it to you as a way to put your hopes and dreams for the year into a tangible form.

The one thing I've always thought is that it would be difficult to read in the Southern Hemisphere, as it is a seasonal book. But I've just done some research and there is now an Australian version! I'd love to think that it could help you to work through your excellent goals for 2011.

tea with lucy said...

free to be me. i like it!

wise thoughts and words.

all the best for 'you' in 2011.


ps your mum has cool specs!

Jemm said...

Great post. It is so hard being a mom. I cannot imagine having 5 (I think it's 5 :) kids. If my hubby took 2 kids would be just me at home! I've been going through a bit of this wondering too. Wondering what I am capable of outside of "wife and mother". It's so hard to know what to do. Your post title is the same as one of my favorite songs "Free to be Me" by Francesca Battistelli. It's on Itunes. Very encouraging. Good luck in 2011 Beck. Don't be TOO hard on yourself, K? Happy New Year!

Lola Nova said...

What a good post! You have me thinking now and it sounds as if there are some similarities. I am trying to be brave this year, which I think includes a little "free to be me" courage as well. Thank you for sharing this.